As all of my readers know, last week was a big week in my life. My quick trip to Indiana was actually for a job interview. The director over there is taking a different position, and my VP asked if I was interested in discussing the job. My current role is as a manager, so this would have been a promotion for me. I had actually known this day was coming for about three weeks - so suffice to say, I have been somewhat stressed out for about 4 weeks now, as my boss was telling me the job was mine if I wanted it. Turns out, he was right.
What I ultimately decided was that the timing was not right. I have only been with the company for 8 months - meaning I have only been in the utility industry for 8 mos. Trust me people, more goes into turning your lights and heat on than you could ever imagine! My current role deals with gas distribution (meaning your residential heat) and this new one would have dealt with electric generation - each their own, very unique beasts. Also impacting my decision is my fundamental belief in that in order to effectively audit something, you have to understand it - and I am still in the process of trying to understand the business I work in. I sought counsel from many different sources, and really what it came down to was deciding what career path I wanted to take. Staying may make one of those career paths a little more of a challenge to get, but I am ok with that - I like to have options. Meanwhile, the plan is to continue to learn the business and continue to develop the relationships I have already established - in doing so, I can position myself for a future opportunity here while still working toward the top chair in the department I currently work in.
Moving would have been a huge personal challenge for me, and would have definitely stretched me far beyond my comfort zone. Part of me fears that I am turning down a real opportunity to stretch my skin, but I know myself well enough to know I would say yes and then immediately ask the question "What have I just done?" I know I can make anything work, know I can be on my own and survive in the world - I did it when I came to Ohio for school. Its one thing to start over at 18, but starting over at 35 as a single female in northwest Indiana (aka NOWHERE, INDIANA) is another thing. True, I could have made it work, but ultimately I decided this was not the right time for a move. No matter the decision, I will still always wonder about the other. But that is just me and part of who I am, and I accept that.
So for now, my life will continue as is - softball, soccer, agility...I booked my trip to Austria today to go to the World Agility Championships and am looking forward to that. My friend Amy got her boat out of storage this weekend, so hopefully, Mother Nature will bring us some sun so I can refine my wakeboarding skills. My graden is shaping up with some new plants and the removal of three HIDEOUS trees (thanks to my dad who came up and cut them down today). The only thing missing is my life partner...and any time he wanted to surface would be ok with me. :) I am still trying to learn everything I can from all that has happened to me over the past 9 mos...and it has been a lot. I am ready for things to settle down a little so I can breathe a bit.
Thank you to all of those who have provided support and counsel and to my parents and brother, who were very clear about their unconditional support of either decision I made. As I finish this post up, I am all of a sudden overwhelmed by exhustion and emotion...and am hoping for a good night sleep. Thanks again...I am lucky to have all of you in my life. Although a shot never taken is a guauranteed miss, there is still time on the clock to position myself for a shot that is as good, if not better, by staying exactly where I am..