Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Reflections of a Year Gone by....

One year ago today, my life took a path I never thought I would walk in my life time, especially in my profession. Hard to believe...one year ago today, I was laid off.

As I sit back tonight and reflect on now and then, I know I am very fortunate to have the job I have and work with some really great people. I also know I am fortunate to have family and friends who supported me along the way. I wish I could say that all of those awful feelings assoicated with being laid off had gone away, but there is part of me that will never be the same.

So much has happened in this last year, both personally and professionally. Some things have been easier than others, some things have left a permanent mark. I have made some good decisions and some not so good decisions. Some days I am at peace with those decisions, some days I am not. I guess all of these things can be chalked to the good old road of life.

If someone would have told me a year ago I would be where I am now, I am not sure I would have believed them. Maybe it is the Lord's way of teaching me to have faith and believe that things happen for a reason. If one more person had said to me "when one door closes another door opens" I might have screamed - easy to say until its your face the door closes in. :) But like everything else in life, things seem to have worked themselves out. I have realized more than ever that the battle I fight daily is not against outside forces, but against myself and my need to be in control of everything around me. One year ago today, I felt as though my world had fallen apart, that everything I had worked so hard for was all gone in a matter of 5 minutes, with no opportunity to stop it. Throughout my entire life, I have always managed to maintain a certain level (all right, probably off the charts level) of control over the big things in my life, but all of a sudden, I was forced into a situation completely out of my control. I managed not only to land on my feet, but to "stick my landing" as they say in gymnastics.

Through this all, the lesson I want to learn the most from is to let go and have faith that things will work out around you - and truly be at peace with this concept. I am not sure what is more important at this exact moment - the concept or being at peace with the concept. I may not travel the path I envisioned for myself and for you adventurous types, this is probably Ok with you. But for you type A planners like me, the road less traveled is a scary place, and I have learned that sometimes, you just have to suck it up, buckle your seat belt and hang on - eventually you will get there. Some days I am at peace with this theory, other days, I go back to wanting the roadmap of what my life is going to look like.

Through all of this, I know I have so many blessings to be thankful for - most of all, my readers - my dear freinds and family who have supported through this process unconditionally. I am grateful for each and every one you. Thank you for always being there to help me get on the path I need to be on - whatever that is.

4 comments:

The Monroes said...

Well written Nicole! Here is to living life without a road map once in a while!

Becky said...

Well said - agree much easier said than done - 'accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.' A layoff and all it entails is indeed life changing. I am grateful to be one of your readers and friends.

the youngbergs said...

I so needed to hear this reflection as I am feeling the need to have faith as well.....thanks for sharing....

The Quisenberrys said...

No surprise you have stuck your landing.....you work hard, you are a good person, and deserve all the success!